It 's about time 09 ended.It is arguably the worst year of my entire life.Have to cope with an increasing sensitive mother,fighting for my gf,unemployment.Even though now employed,the system sucks & it seems like the workers have gone on strike.LOL.I have since been sending resumes utilising my newly gotten diploma.No replies yet.Dat s coz they are all in holiday mood i guess.Most of their closing dates are tomm & the 2nd Jan.It s a bit distracting here coz of the works to erect a new gym complex near my home.It s also built above the reservoir! I can t wait for it to open so i don t have to carry my toiletries & bathe there.Then I can start my New Year resolution to restart my gym regime.U are always welcome to join me. :]

 

            09 was horrible.It has lots of bad vibes....everything was negative.So,I remembered reading a book I bought last year entitled,'the Secret'.It s actually a hyped up version explaining the law of attraction.It's a very good book....depending whether u believe it annot.Some people i noe has dismissed it as crap but I have actualli used it & it works.It s just that I have been neglecting it this year.You should go check it out even though you don t believe all the hocus pocus. It's actualli quantum physics.It's a great science subject which will benefit you. The main quote. 'What you think,you will attract it.' Go check it out at The Secret trailer .Search YouTube for more topics on it.

 

         I'm trying to pull myself together.Focusing myself..getting in tune.New Year resolutions? There are many but i'll concentrate on just a few.

   -  Open an E-shop,

   -  Get a great job to fund my business & life,

   -   My op end of the year.

   -   Update this blog regularly!

Marriage is for 2011 provided financially sound.

 

         Got some stuff to do.Hope to get back to u guys soon.Happy last holiday of the year.

 

Yours truly,

Axl

 

PS  Any business ideas you wanna let me know you can msg me as well. I ll like to know what businesses you guys have too so that we can exchange contacts.Add me on FaceBook!

    Hi guys.These 2 months have been hectic for me.From F1 Singapore to F1 Abu Dhabi to APEC assignments...phew..not to mention I got my diploma cert & also interviewed by Shu ting from Razor TV...all in these 2 mths!

    Went to Abu Dhabi last mth for 2 weeks & it's not as hot as I thought it would be.Maybe coz it's years' end where it's cooler.Rushed to Dr Tsoi before leaving for Emirates or else i would have missed by jab.Met up with great people who keep looking at me as a guy.Not dat i mind but caused a lot of confusion as the police academy there segregates the guys & gals by dividing the PA across the road.Not even in the same compound!So they are complaining how come there is a guy there.Hehe.Same goes for when I'm on duty.We wear suits for the royal family escort.Dat made identifying much harder as there are only females in the building..hmm..

     Besides the gender confusion,food there is very healthy! More protein & carbo is great as most are low glutamic.Veggie salad everyday!It is slow paced unlike Singapore where everywhere is a rush.

 

     For APEC,we are required to do handheld scanning.Again I hate to do it coz I would have to screen females & I hate it coz they will enquire why a guy is screening them.Not dat I don t want to but I m just sick of being judged.No more scanning for me by special request!

 

      I have proudly graduated with a diploma at last! I hope it will increase my odds of getting a management job in the near future..I badly need the financial backup.My op,my marriage....all are in the line up! I'm so excited for it but a lot of financial planning needed.I don t want our family to suffer.I have to be the sole breadwinner.Dear is getting stressed up at work & I think it's my responsibility to provide for her.

       A day before I went to Abu Dhabi,Shu ting of Razor TV wanted to do an update of my life after a year.A year is too short so there's nothing much to update her of except my job & some new planning.Do the next update by doing a report on our wedding day exclusive! Hehe..So she waited 2 weeks & upon my return,she conducted the interview.I know this blog looks a bit brief dat's coz I have a lot on my mind now.I m so sorry for dat.I hope the interview videos will make up for the loss.There are episodes 1 to 6. The interview also consists of Nina who was also interviewed last year for this series.

      Gonna be attached to NEA assignment tomm.Please don't throw cigi butts or litter or u might be lucky enuff to get a summons slip autographed by me. LOL.I prefer to take charge of management of work permits though..

---

These are Nina's videos:

Episode 1:

http://razortv.com.sg/site/servlet/segment/main/news/38964.html

Episode 2:

http://razortv.com.sg/site/servlet/segment/main/news/38962.html

Episode 3:

http://razortv.com.sg/site/servlet/segment/main/news/38968.html

---

These are my videos (episodes 4-6):

Episode 4:

http://razortv.com.sg/site/servlet/segment/main/news/39104.html

Episode 5:

http://razortv.com.sg/site/servlet/segment/main/news/39106.html

Episode 6:

http://razortv.com.sg/site/servlet/segment/main/news/39108.html

 

Leave me comments & feedback,hatemail & fanmail.

Inform me of broken links.

Would love to hear from u guys.

Take care.

Yours truly,

Axl

 

PS  Please add me on FaceBook & MSN!

This is a very hard decision for her parents but it's better to rectify the situation before the child grows up & got into a lot of confusion later on.It's very understanding of her parents to allow the change at such a young age.Here is a very eye opening first hand account of her & her parents.She is even younger than 10 years old.The interview is divided into 5 parts. I know how the parents feel but I thank the parents for not being selfish & instead understanding how the child actually feels inside. Here are the moving stories.

This is Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Utpam0IGYac

Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8F9CaPyQz8&NR=1

Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W17z6KeiNY&NR=1

Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSkQlWUX_eI&feature=related

Part 5 (FTM account) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib_yE5WILJc&feature=related

PS I was moved to tears at some accounts.... esp d kid who cried..

PPS 28th is my appointment with my psychiatrist.

             It s been a long time I wrote here.Ages & I have so much to share.From the bad to the good,I might call all of it a blessing in disguise.I have been thankful for things dat have been happening for the past years.

        As u might or might not have known,my gf of 2 yrs plus have been staying with me since she had a tiff with her parents over me & of course i feel bad about it but everyone has their own life ahead of them & your decisions determine where u go.For 2 hari raya seasons she have been with us,dis yer,her parents came over my home & talked to my parents.The way her mum did it was through sob stories & even some have nothing to do with their own daughter.It's not that I worry dat she have to leave me but rather,how her mum will alwaes strike up one problem after another.It has happenned for a few years already even before she knew me.My dad was quite worried of her well being.My mum & family has grown to like her so much.She is an any in-laws dream even with her other ex-boyfrens' parents.My dad wants her to give her real dad a chance so dat's wat makes her to be there again & I do understand.Just worried what her stepmum will be having up her sleeves once she's there again.Get jealous over a daughter & father relationship?Possible.

      She's just someone who can't be rude to elders but I just told her even the old make mistakes & u don t have to be rude to tell them your opinion.It's the new age goddamnit.Thoughts can be exchanged no matter the age.

      Amidst the confrontation,my stepdad & my mum sat to have a face to face talk & we are open abt how I feel,what abt my gf,watever I wanted to say.The facts will still be facts how u wanna hide it.In the end,the prob will still resurface if u choose to avoid it.It's just a matter of time.I came clean,I told him what I am,my feelings for my gf,been to Dr Tsoi,all of it.I'm surprised he's cool about it & even told her he has a cousin who is an FTM & gone for op & has a wife! I was so glad I opened up to him.My own stepdad has 1st hand experience!He told me he would help me get religious view on it b4 going for my op.From den on,I felt I found my true self & I'm not alone in this world.At last,my own parents understand.Dat's all I need to raise a family by my own in the future.A blessing in disguise.Since then,I gave my dad a book titled, 'True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism--For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals.'It is an all in one explaination for ppl like us & how to differentiate the diff types.He & my mum have understood me better since.

          Things will be a lot easier after my op.I wish to thank everyone who has known my situation,be there for me & I thank God & my parents for understanding what I am & I have nvr been so much happier for them to accept me as what I am.God bless u all & I wish the muslims a Happy Hari Raya.

Yours truly ,

Axl

PS  Do not avoid the unusual.It could happen to u(or worse)!

PPS   Those who noe me,drop me a line.

PPPS  Those who hardly noe me,read my blog from the beginning & get to noe me!

The blog post below is extracted from the new TransLounge platform.It's actually a great site coz of the way it networks a bit like Facebook.Even the chat function albeit it's in chatroom version.Everything can be commented.You can contribute videos to the community too instead of yer own comments! Public blogs,photos,events & more can be contributed.If you are not much a contributor,you can browse thru the info. All these & more can be accessed at: www.translounge.ning.com As posted: Hi guys.Great to have u here. If u are reading this & not a member yet,I urge u to join us so dat the existing members will have others to communicate with! Hehe. I welcome fellow friends & partners of FTMs too.If you are,I hope u'll contribute to this site as we will all benefit from it.Really. Ok...So back to the topic of the title.Someone msged me on Facebook yesterday.Seriously,before that,I thought in was a genetic guy in my frens list & was wondering before who it was.It is an FTM. He said he is in Thailand,just a few days after his op, mastectomy & hysto . He had it done at Yanhee Hosp. We chatted for quite awhile,about his ordeal & he's quite ecstatic about it. He said the doctor is quite ok. Quite a change frm negative remarks of him. The outcome of the chest of how it looks is still quite uncertain. He told me the areola is not resized. If i'm gonna have it,I make sure tell the doc to resize it to look like a realistic male areola .I just find it will look weird unless u have small ones & don t find the need to resize it.I'm sure that will require extra charges for it but better to do it once & for all if u noe what I mean.I don t wan it to be cut open again later on to get it reworked.It will be never ending. The price of both ops actually surprised me. According to him,both ops cost him ard USD4.4K before discount.It's always possible to get discount in Thai.Round off about SGD$7K! It is very cheap...from wat i budgeted it to be ard SGD 10K or more for both ops but I'm sure the price keep changing all the time so it's alwaes advisable to get actual advice from the hosp itself. Dat gives me a rough calculation to give myself a year for op funds.Watever it is,I hope he's doing fine today & to catch up with him when he's back.I hope he don't mind to be the first person here to blog on his op.

  What the fuck!

Twice I tried posting something for the past 2 weeks but again & again it got accidentally deleted! What luck.I hope it get s in this time without mishap.

  Now I have to recall what I typed just now. TSK.

I ll type it some other time...

  

   

 

It's out!Catch it at the link below before it relocates.Don't forget to look for subsequent parts.

They also interviewed Dr Preecha briefly.



Transgenders among us-Part 1,2 & 3

http://www.razortv.com.sg/site/servlet/segment/main/news/16192.html;jsessionid=D5B3D1D9B0130124CA69CEBB6C25AB1D.00

 

        Buck Galore!

 

He was being interviewed in Netherlands at a talkshow hosted by Jensen.He's a really great guy.I hope to meet him someday.He looks so happy as a guy rather than his past pictures as a gal.Oh well.Enjoy this.I did.

 

For those who doesn't know who he is,he is famous worldwide.For the infamous reasons!

 

Fast Facts on Buck:

Original name is Susan.

He is the world's first transman pornstar.Fucks both as well!

 

Buck's interview Part 1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysY-5Lfe9Hw

 

Buck's interview Part 2:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3-DWJCp_Zw

 

Buck's interview Part 3:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C43ugtTt0BM

        Whoa.So much has happenned .seriously.My clients' higher management has found out about my true identity.Remember I told u about the location needing only guys?Now they have relocated me to another place(not the bank) & the timing is shit!Not to mention the location scope as well.Not really the scope but the building management sucks.They act like a radar & look for every kind of fault they can.That sucks.When something serious happens & we consulted them,they vanished without a trace.How cowardly can biologicals guys get?All ego & big talk which happens to be bogus.They gone *POOF*.So,I've been converted to part-time but still looking for a fixed job...I need it.I can't depend on part-time.I need to revise & study when school comes ard back in january.I need the time but at the same time needs to pay my sch fees.Sheesh.All this misfortune.2008 is my bad financial year.

 

      Jab was taken on the 29th last mth.Nothing outstanding about that.Grown immune to the jab as well.The prick.

 

       Then was my birthday on the 2nd.2 days ago.Which also happenned to be the day Shi ting interviewed me at my home.The reporter from SPH's Razor TV.She asked a lot of private questions.VERY private.What made me like this,will I like guys again.I have never liked any guy!Haha.How long we have been together,what brought us together.Lots of sensitive questions being thrown  but I guess it's all natural dat s y it's being called an interview.If the video just stayed on the website & people didn't really notice it,it will be quite fine but if it becomes a sensational story like being shown  on very open media like TV & ST,it will be known.I don't care if anyone noes but not to the extend of my family members.My mum & grandpa.Well,if it does,they have to accept it coz dat's what I am.

     It will be shown next Wed according to her.The most important thing in my life now is to get my op done,get married & adopt kids besides having stable income.The rest is just extra.If only i m born a guy,things would have been much different but on the other hand,it would not have made me  as who I am now.Let's just say,being a transman made me into a better man!

 

PS   I've just opened a Facebook account! Add me by searching for Axl Remy Abdul Rahman & add me.

PPS   TransLounge group is also just formed on Facebook Groups!

       Again I'm here.How time flies.After so many job uncertainties,I'm back to my former line.Security.It's due to my many years of experience too.Sans the guns & weapons.Dat means just reporting for work & minus the need to draw arms.Equals to longer sleep time.Haha.It's the highest paid in the trade.$1,550 not including surplus yet.8 hrs in a foreign bank's HQ.Deutsche bank.Life has been quite rosy the past few weeks.Until I teamed with a newbie partner.I don't mind his spontaneoity but it's just getting too far & was never in this trade.Every petty thing he reported to the ops room.WHich I don't find the need to & he's overdoing it.U know,sort of booklicker.When no one is around,he's kinda fine but when people are around,he pretends to be oh so busy & showing dat he's doing his work.KInda stubborn too.If I can't take it,I'm shifting back to the HQ at Raffles.I got more life & more ppl to talk to there anyway.


    Pardon the life snippet there.I just need an outlet.So,before all that happenned,of course I went to the interview.The interviewer didn't sense anything amiss until he saw my deed poll & got all confused so he enquired politely.Great.So I explained to him that I WAS a she & planning to go for my op soon.I donno how soon.Undergoing transition.So actualli he can't accept me in a bank but he will get back to me to discuss with his colleague.He told me it's no big issue.

     Being a man of his word,he got back to me & said I'm accepted at the bank!Great.Dat's the 8 hrs rate but if i am working 12 hrs,my pay scale would be close to 2K but i need my time for sch & my dearest so the former is great enuff.

     AMong all the prospective employers I went to,the most aggressive one I remember vividly has to be PSA.They are very blunt with their words.I have been there so I guess most of them are quite blunt but the old timers are an experience to talk to.They have contributed to my experience there & also for who I am now.


       Currently,I plan on starting my E-bay store again & I hope to make at least 100 a day on it or even have a stable full time income with it.Working for someone really sucks & I would prefer to have financial freedom where time also will be flexible.


      Fasting mth is on so kinda drained but still ok.Gonna do researching now.

  Catch up wif u guys again soon.